Having recently purchased a 125cc commuter bike, I have noticed a strange phenomenon occurring.
All of a sudden, I want leather motorcycle clothes, and dramatic looking rubber boots that fit over a tight pair of protective waterproof trousers.
The funny thing is that I have never found the motorcycle gear attractive in any sense and have had an aversion towards that kind of look and all the things it meant me. One such image I have is a bunch of men standing around a bike in their leathers, discussing the intricacies of precision power inlet valves that are all intrinsically a bunch of children playing power games with big boy's toys.
Am I being drawn into this I ask myself? Will that be me? Am I just a motorbike wannabe?
Well reluctantly and honestly, I think I am in a way, but the real question for me is why I am attracted to this now, having had such clearly judgmental views of the motorcycle elite.
I get on my bike with my tattered body armour jacket that I bought for three pounds at a car boot sale, and I'm happy that I've even got a body armour jacket. I begin to fit in and get a sense of status but as a 125cc rider I am all too aware that there will be judgements about me too.
You may well know this camaraderie between certain vehicle drivers, maybe if you have an old Mini, a Beetle, possibly a Morris Minor or Land Rover. Well this is certainly the case of the motorcycle rider with the nod of acknowledgement, a shared knowing and collective experience.
I started off thinking that I'll refrain from nodding my head to anyone as I did not want to face the rejection and humiliation if my clothes weren't good enough or my engine was not worthy of their appreciation.
In a self fulfilling prophecy kind of way, it seemed that no-one nodded me either.
But today was different. I looked at a couple of riders square in the eyes, not looking for anything in particular, nor fearing rejection and they nodded.
A warm feeling washed over me, a sense of approval and bonding. I came to realise that this is what I have really been wanting. It's not really about looking cool because I generally don't think bike gear looks cool, it's the belonging. This sense of belonging, the need for attention and status are all, in my view, necessary, valid and positive aspect of the human psyche that leads us towards emotional stability and good mental health that only begin to present a problem when those needs are not being met.
Now I think of myself as being quite self assured and in my power, although I can see my vulnerability and personal drive to claim that assurance from others. At the same time I think we as humans are social creatures and that it's not surprising that we have drivers which call us into action to connect, network, belong and survive, even if those drivers act through our insecurities.
As I see with many of my clients, insecurities can motivate us towards change.
If you are interested in finding out more about your emotional needs such as belonging, status, attention and much more goto:
http://www.hgi.org.uk/
http://www.possibilities-unlimited.co.uk/
